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5 news headlines that seem straight out of the Onion…but they’re true

Posted by / June 18, 2019

There is something deeply unsettling about the world when it’s not only possible, but easy, to mistake a news headline as a satirical article from The Onion. The following five headlines are so ridiculous that you’ll hope they’re fake. Sadly, they are not.

An opponent of a light rail plan in Phoenix, Arizona recently claimed that God killed Congressman Ed Pastor because Pastor supported the rail. She went on to say that God will continue to judge anyone who supports the rail.

Ajit Pai, one of America’s most detested men, recently said that both NASA and NOAA are wrong about 5G’s potential to disrupt weather forecasting. You know, just like literally everyone but ISPs was wrong about how crappy it would be to repeal net neutrality.

Two Hong Kong porn websites shut down and put up a message encouraging viewers to join the protests. Enough said.

Even though he’s in freakin’ jail, Bill Cosby is still tweeting. In a Father’s Day tweet, he said he’s still America’s dad. Ew.

Immigration is one of, if not the, hot button discussion topic across the globe. A YouGov survey asked citizens in countries impacted by immigration what the biggest benefit immigrants brought to a country was. The answer? Better food.

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