Kama Sutra for comfortable couples
Posted by staff / January 15, 2014
If you’ve had the pleasure of paging through the Kama Sutra and have been in a relationship for more than three years, you might be left feeling a little less than satisfied with the old sex life.
What with the cost of health care these days, though, and the danger of pulling something you might need at work tomorrow (like those leg muscles you use to get up and down off the chair), it’s easier to consider your relationship on a level beyond such gymnastics than do the deed according to such exotic directions.
If this sounds familiar, you’ll definitely appreciate Chelsea Davison’s “Kama Sutra for Couples Who Have Been Dating Over Three Years.”
“The Frisky Spoon”
Lie in bed with your partner. Ask to spoon, then hold her from behind. Ignore the cat that just jumped onto the bed. Press closer to her. When she says she’s just tired and she didn’t shower today, tell her it doesn’t matter and kiss her neck. Glance at the clock and realize it actually is pretty late and you’re supposed to have a performance review tomorrow with Glenn. Debate whether or not to ask Glenn for a raise. You’ve hit about 60% of your year-end goals… is that enough? Go to sleep.
“Enduring Sweatpants”
Greet him in sweatpants when he arrives home. Then don’t take them off. Ever. Wear this pair of sweatpants for weeks. Don’t walk around in lingerie or a cute pair of undies—just stick with sweatpants and a messy bun. He doesn’t notice either way so why not just get comfortable?
“The Couples’ Brunch”
Go to a café that serves drinks in mason jars with Kelly and Jeff. When you get home, make out for a few minutes until she asks if you think they still make out like this. Ask who she means. When she exasperatedly says “Kelly and Jeff!” give a vague answer, and then listen intently as she gives her opinion of their relationship. Accidentally defend them. Spend 45 minutes backtracking and justifying why what you have is so much stronger than what they have. Ignore her comment that at least he proposed.
Photo credit: Fotolia
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