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You can tell how skeptical we as a society have become regarding parental common sense when a picture like this is thought to be the newest horror on the artsy-craftsy helicopter parent scene, but its true origin is much funnier. Meet the Fuggler.

According to the her website, Mrs. McGettrick’s Fuggler Emporium, it all began one night when she couldn’t sleep and found a listing for false teeth on eBay. Her husband had been encouraging her to find a hobby and was thoroughly horrified when she stitched her first Fuggler back in 2010. As popularity of the horrific dolls, intended as a joke gift for adults, took off, she kissed her job as a toilet salesman goodbye and immersed herself in the creation of these delightfully creepy dolls.

If, for some strange reason, you’re wondering if you can get your child’s baby teeth sewn into one of these, here’s her response:

Fuggler FAQs

Are they-

-No. They are not real teeth.

Can I send you my teeth to use?

No. I implore you. Do not send me your teeth. There’s probably a very good reason they’re not in your mouth any more. Besides, I’m quite alright with the worst thing I receive in the mail being my student loan balance.

Can I send you my children’s milk teeth?

Again, I’m going to have to say no. As delightful as it might be to have envelopes full of the tiny teeth of strange children dropping on to my door mat every day, I’m pretty sure that’s how you get put under surveillance…

…What ages are Fugglers suitable for?

The hand made, custom Fugglers are for adults only. They are collectables, meant to loiter on shelves or go on travelling adventures with you, or be left in the spare room so that guests know not to outstay their welcome. However, in light of a growing number of people who want to inflict Fugglers on their offspring, I am currently looking into working with a manufacturer to produce a range of Fugglers  that will be CE tested and suitable for a younger audience. When I say suitable, obviously it’s still going to be a teddy bear with artificial human teeth.

• Visit toy shop. Leave your Fuggler in amongst the children’s toys, facing the wall. Retreat to safe distance.
• Bury in a field in a metal box. Add chicken bones, and a fistful of human hair. Giggle to yourself about someone with a metal detector stumbling across it in years to come, or archaeologists desperately trying to understand what it said about our culture.
• When moving house, leave it behind underneath the bed. Covered in fake blood, and surrounded by torn shreds of other teddy bears.
• Abandon it on a stranger’s doorstep, with a red rose and a note that reads “THIS IS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU”.
• Visit friend/relatives house. Secrete the Fuggler somewhere in the bedroom, button eyes staring down on them as they sleep. DENY ALL KNOWLEDGE.

Toys for adults only.

Image credit: Mrs. McGettrick’s Fuggler Emporium, Graphics credit: Canva