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An article published in Slate yesterday questions the traditionally-held Kubler-Ross Stages of Grief.

Wikipedia tells us about the Kubler-Ross model:

1. Denial — “I feel fine.”; “This can’t be happening, not to me.”
2. Anger — “Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”;
3. Bargaining — “I’ll do anything for a few more years.”; “I will give my life savings if…”
4. Depression — “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”; “I’m going to die soon so what’s the point?”;
5. Acceptance — “It’s going to be okay.”; “I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for it.”

But Claire Bidwell Smith believes that expecting all who grieve the loss of loved one to follow those five stages can be doing them a disservice. She says that often her clients say “I don’t think I’m following the stages correctly…I don’t understand the bargaining part” or “I’ve been depressed for too long”. We tend to be conditioned to accept these stages as a blueprint.

“Bargaining” may still belong in a list for those who are dying but for those who are bereaved, it would better to add anxiety to the list notes she claims.

Even more than depression, anxiety is the response my grieving clients express a desire to overcome since experiencing loss. They describe feelings of panic and obsessive thinking about their own deaths and potential illness. They tell me about bouts of helplessness and of feeling overwhelmed by life itself, about panic attacks and moments of such paralyzing fear that they pull their cars over on the way to work.

Full story at Slate.

More mental health stories.

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