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The rules of the teacher’s lounge (or, as we had to call it, the “workroom”) are not something covered in any college class, yet violation of the unspoken code can make your non-teaching hours miserable.

Fortunately, Shannon Reed provided this handy list of guidelines that only require substituting a name or two here and there to be spot on.

• No couch made after 1998 should be placed in the Teachers’ Lounge.

• If another teacher enters the room, visibly weeping, but makes themselves a cup of coffee without making eye contact with anyone else, all other teachers are obliged to pretend said teacher is not crying.

• However, if the same teacher pours themselves a cup of coffee, then places it on the counter, and leans over the sink, sobbing, all teachers present are obligated to send at least one representative to hug that teacher around the shoulders and say, “Oh, honey.”

Full story at McSweeney’s.

An education in education.