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In a move that should surprise no one with more than a small handful of braincells, the reopening of American schools is not a runaway success. It’s not even a failure––it might be a downright catastrophe. At Ohio State University, an entire sorority house is in quarantine after twenty-three sisters tested positive for COVID-19. A Nebraska school district has canceled classes after staff members came down with COVID-19.

Arizona teachers aren’t going to risk that kind of nonsense. More than 100 teachers have called in sick in one district, forcing the district to cancel its plan to reopen Monday.

Texas, meanwhile, is actually trying the ostrich method of dealing with COVID: they’re simply not going to track COVID data.

Going back to school at all might be a fools errand. About 40% of COVID tests come back too late to be useful. In other words, even if students are getting tested regularly, they’re results are coming back too late to inform their actions. At big party schools, it’s hard to imagine that students will even worry about tests. They’ll be too busy drinking and partying in incredibly close proximity. It’s only a matter of time before these big universities suffer massive COVID outbreaks.

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